And now onto happier topics…

In the last few weeks, I have been going through some changes.  Ch..ch..ch…changes.  And strangely, I’m pretty okay with it.  There was a time when I would constantly talk about change.  Change this, change that, oh why oh why can’t I change – that sort of thing.  I was stuck in this view that some outside influence would be the vehicle of change and I constantly berated my own ability to help it along.  I realized lately that if I want change, then I’ll have to do it myself.

“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.” || Anatole France

There is a hint of melancholy that is accompanying this process of change, of letting go.  That kind of acceptance when you know where you need to go, but look back with bittersweet sadness at what you’re leaving behind.  That final look back as you step out the door.

I’ve been spring cleaning myself lately, making room for all the new experiences ahead of me.  Finally growing up, I guess.

Mind you, I’m scared of what’s to come because there is so much unknown in front of me.  The stability of school will no longer be there.  There is some doubt: will I succeed; will I make it; will I find a job; will I survive?  But I’m sure I’m not the first person to ask and I certainly won’t be the last.

With law school coming to an end, I guess I’m just taking stock of my life.  I’m taking the time to differentiate between the child-like/childish and mature, I Corinthians Chapter 13 style.  Go figure.