Two Steps Forward, One and a Half Steps Back

Seems to be the way my life feels these days.  Any achievements made in the past two years have almost been completely backtracked.  I have no one to blame but myself.

There is always a pattern that emerges from my daily life.  I coast.  I’ve been coasting since the minute I figured out that I didn’t have to put in 100% effort to get more-than-enough results.  Some things came easy for me so I lacked any incentive to try harder.  The things that didn’t hold my attention just got put to the back-burner.

It’s the story of my life.

I admit now that I wish I were different.  I wish I could wake up tomorrow and find all my issues gone.  I wish to wake up a different person and I don’t know how to feel about that.

I guess the best way to describe my mood is indifference.  Or maybe even disappointment.  I am not happy, obviously.  But I do not think that I am sad.  I go through the list in my head and start on the road to change.  But I stop a quarter of the way and just go back to what is comfortable.  I am too comfortable.

Gods, I wish things were different.